Letting go

I recently commented in a newspaper article about yoga as an infertility treatment.  My response was about how we enjoy the journey (practicing yoga) that we decide to abandon the destination (to get pregnant in this case).  So much has been written about how this spiritual enlightenment is achieved in this manner.  I remember a similar tale by Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist.

What I want to say is that this spiritual knowledge is powerful and visibly measurable.  Writing trains my monkey mind to focus and serves as a productive mental outlet.  Learning to breath slowly and rhythmically during yoga calms down my nervousness and anxiety and leads to sense of feeling grounded and centered.

Mentioned earlier was that one particular attachment that I want and need to let go.  A destination is in sight.  Wanting so badly to be in control of my life and destiny, I become frustrated.  Any disappointment not getting my wants sends me over the edge.  Irritability is a major emotional state.  Fearfulness and tearfulness cause me half of my good night sleep.  Crying spells are a synonym of a hormonal change even with regular menstrual cycles.  (Note to self -- perhaps that shift in hormones is an indication as well.)

This is a good start.

To understand what detachment is versus to actually detach

Easier said than done.  I fully comprehend the concept of attachment and try to detach from whatever I'm attached to.

Smoking, drinking, over-eating, spending too freely, scattering my energy, getting too caught up in worldly ambitions, or speaking too harshly are now behind me.  It took many years and many tears to realize that all of these are impermanence.

That leaves only one illusion to detach from.  Trying too hard to rid myself of this attachment could be a mile stone to measure how close to enlightenment.  That path to liberation, I must remember, requires that I walk the middle road.  To do it excessively and unconsciously will throw me off balance and off the intended path.